Tag Archives: humor

So What Does It Mean To Be A Hiker?

“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.”

-John Burroughs

Anyone can hike. Go to the woods, put one foot in front of the other and you’ve pretty much got it. Right? Not so fast. Being a hiker, a true believer in the healing power of the woods is a mindset that can only be developed by spending countless hours on the trails and climbing hills that would kill any other mere mortal.

Many people say, “I like to hike.” Ok. But do you have what it takes to become a true “hiker?” Hiking, like any other sport, hobby or activity, has a vocabulary unique to its participants. Can you speak the language of the seasoned hiker? If you encountered a fellow hiker in the woods, would you be confident that you could make yourself understood? This isn’t as easy as it sounds.

As you are preparing for your next hike, pick up the shirt that you want to wear. What does it smell like? Imagine for the sake of argument that the odor emanating from the shirt is nothing short of horrific. What do you do? In my case, I would put it on and head out the door. But would you? What you smell like is just another form of identification for other hikers. It’s almost like dogs sniffing each other’s butts. That’s how we know who is the real deal and who is just playing the part for the day. Trust me, you can smell them a mile away.

What did you put in your pack to eat? Now, of course, this all depends on how long your hike is going to be, but hikers definitely have some do’s and don’ts when comes to being a true hiker. Trying to stuff a picnic basket into your daypack isn’t going to work and neither is bringing stuff to grill. You gotta keep it simple. If I know that I am going to be out for a full day and I am going to be covering 8-10 miles with some elevation, I’ll get a sandwich from the local deli plus some granola or protein bars to stave off the hunger pangs to keep me going.

Now if I know I’m only going to be out for a short hike of maybe 3-5 miles, I’ll bring granola bars, protein bars and other assorted garbage to keep my legs moving throughout the day. The good thing about logging the miles is that although you might eat a load of crap, you will still burn a great deal of it off during your hike. And of course, don’t forget the GORP!!

You may be asking yourself, “He’s talked about the language, clothes, and food, what about liquids?” Even though it is relatively obvious, water is the most important liquid to have on a hike. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I now go overboard with the amount of water that I carry. Even if I am going out into the woods (for what I consider a short hike) of between 3-6 miles, I’ll figure out the amount that I need to drink and double it. And now that they have Gatorade Zero, which has no sugar and I’ll take a few of those as a way to replenish my electrolytes.

At times, however, any good hiker might develop a thirst for a nice cold adult beverage. Especially if the hike you are on isn’t too strenuous and you have a nice view where you can sit for a while and contemplate life’s mysteries. Of course, the idea here is not to overdo it, because chances are you will have to drive home and you also don’t want to be a stupified slobbering mess walking down the trail.

Now please, I hope that in reading this you haven’t taken me too seriously. Hikers come in all ages, shapes and sizes and have their own rituals when it comes to preparing for a hike. I too, have my own rituals.

That is the glorious thing about hiking and adopting the lifestyle of a hiker. Being able to enjoy the outdoors doesn’t come in just one fashion or form. In my humble opinion, I believe that as long as you are out in the woods doing what you need to do, then you are ahead of the game.

HAPPY HIKING!!!

 

 

 

 

The First Day Of School

Holy crap yes, that day is finally here,

The brand new start to a whole new school year.

Lessons and meetings plus excuses galore,

Mind numbing students who stare at the floor.

You’ll do what we want, you’ll do what we say,

Put them in groups or pairs every day.

Higher level questioning on things they don’t get,

Forget those state tests, you don’t have to fret.

So enjoy these last moments, and then just jump in the fray,

Watch the stupidity but stay out of the way.

It’s no doubt you will live, It’s no doubt you will thrive,

Just keep your sanity and stay fully alive.

So as you sit there tomorrow, eyes covered in glaze,

Remember that summer is in 187 short days.

 

Don’t Let Them Fool You, PT Is No Joke!

'Shall we start with some stretching exercises?'

My first PT session.

Yesterday I started PT. My daughter, who is 17 and has had the “pleasure” of participating in some quality PT told me that I would be in some pain after the first session. She was right. She was also quick to remind me of the time when she complained about the pain after a PT session and was told to, “suck it up.” So when she asked how my ankle felt when I got home, I told her. Her response??? You guessed it-“Suck it up dad.”

Since it was an initial visit, I spent about twenty minutes being questioned, then another thirty having my ankle twisted, turned, bent and pulled. This, I am told, will bring me closer to getting me back to where I want, no, need to be.

The need to be back in the woods hiking is a strong one. It has been two months to the day since I slid, fell and fractured my ankle on that fateful backpacking trip. Two months of sitting around recuperating isn’t as much fun as it sounds! Obviously it is sitting around time that is necessary, and that is what makes it somewhat bearable.

But as uncomfortable as it has been and will continue to be for a while longer, it also means that I am healing, and that is a good thing. The bottom line is this-You have to be positive. Life is way too short to set sucked into the negative. It will most certainly kill you.

My goal? I want to be back on the trails no later than October 1st!!

The Zoo

I live in a house that seems like a zoo,

A rabbit, a cat and a dog form the crew.

They all get along, it’s a strange sight to see,

The bunny and cat, they frolic with glee!

So, the two of them together, they find themselves frisky,

Should we let the dog play? Or is it just to damn risky?

We love you my friend, but you’re really to large,

To let you come play, being as big as a barge.

So that leaves him alone, our ninety pound Jase,

To join in the fun, to be part of the chase.

But when it’s all over and the day it is done,

They all love each other and all live as one!

It’s Summertime!

sad-dog_l

Teachers the night before the first day of school

The summer’s half gone as teachers lament,

The month of July was time very well spent.

Sitting around on a nice sandy beach,

Nirvana and bliss are well within reach.

But the days slowly pass and with ease they go by,

This shouldn’t end, they say with a sigh.

But time marches on, and September draws near,

The summer is ending, that much is clear.

So enjoy the long days and put out of your head,

The inevitable truth and that strange sense of dread.

Because that day it will come and soon we’ll return,

To lessons and meetings, and all that we yearn.

But even as nice as the summers may be,

It’s the kids we await because they hold the key!

 

 

Here I Sit

23ea86ec1a1acff50b11ae284e0a4a12--twilight-pug-art

Sitting and sitting is all that I do.

From the time I get up till quarter to two.

As I listen to music and read books on the past,

All I can think is “I gotta get out of this cast!

So my doctors they tell me that after 35 long days,

That my cast and I may finally part ways.

I hope that he’s right and what he says will come true,

Because if it doesn’t, I’ll really be blue.

But you my dear reader, do you really care?

Have you given a thought to my need of fresh air?

So now I’ll stop writing and continue to sit,

And you’ll stay where you are and not give a…

Awkward-Daily Prompt

An awkward scene unfolded this morning as my daughter was getting ready to go to school. As you can see by the picture, our cat is sitting in the window. The rabbit, who is always trying to hang out with him, was trying to figure out a way to get onto the ledge so they could share the moment together. Unfortunately for the bunny, she slipped and fell off of the desk. Now before you freak out and wonder if the beautiful bunny was hurt, take a look right below her. That’s right, it’s my daughters laundry bag. Thankfully she fell into it and it was pretty much filled with clothes and that cushioned her fall.

image1_edited

Please excuse the poor cell phone quality!!!!

Awkward