“WTF? I blew myself up!”-Me

One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned as I have navigated through this life is that you don’t mess with what you don’t know. Why? Because you stand a good chance of looking like an idiot, or you just might get hurt really bad.

When it comes to home repairs, I have made it my business to stay away from two things-electricity and any form of gas. Both have the potential to well, kill you quickly and efficiently.

Several weeks ago I noticed that I keep hearing a strange “booming” noise coming from our basement. Our water heater, which was now over twenty years old, appeared to be the culprit of this strange noise. This was confirmed one morning when we didn’t have any hot water. So down I went with my daughter, who was holding the flashlight, into the darkness to light the pilot light.

Of course, this went against every survival instinct I have but after watching several youtube videos, I felt confident that I could do this and survive. So as my daughter held the light so I could see, I laid down on the floor next to the heater and with my extra long lighter, and also with my face about three inches away from the opening, I started to try and light the pilot light. After several failed attempts, I decided to let it sit for a few minutes since I was only getting a very weak flame and I could smell gas. 

To make a long story a great deal shorter, I apparently didn’t wait long enough. As I made another attempt to light it, I heard the familiar boom and felt the heat of a giant fireball as it scorched my beard and my face.

As I stood up, the look of shock, surprise, and horror on my daughter’s face was obvious. It told me one thing-I had screwed up. I could smell and taste the burnt hair of my beard, eyelashes, and eyebrows and after examining it in the bathroom mirror, I confirmed the obvious. My beard was screwed. Luckily my daughter was able to do some repairs because I absolutely refused to fully shave it off. It was bad enough that I had to trim it.

Needless to say, that lovely smell persisted for weeks, especially when I washed it. I can now laugh at what happened, especially since my daughter did almost immediately after it happened. It has also reinforced my belief that you shouldn’t mess with what you don’t know. I am now a believer, without a doubt.

The pictures above are just after I failed in my attempt to light my hot water heater.

I think my daughter did a fabulous job of repairing the damage.

Any comments? Suggestions?