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B & W @ TP

“To see in color is a delight for the eye but to see in black and white is a delight for the soul.”

– Andri Cauldwell

Here are some black and white photos taken as dusk approached at Trinity Pawling School. As always, I was waiting for my daughters hockey practice to finish.






Christmas Day

Watching the Polar Express for the 35th time,

Sugary delightfulness a pleasantly pacified delusion.

Orbs melting into the tube, Poor Scrooge, terrorized by the hobgoblins, relents.

Ralphie, on the verge of an adolescent explosion, believes.

Glazed eyes barely able to open, slits of ignorance reflect off of the screen.

Cindy Lou Who laments the sanctity of Whoville.

A call of “Squirrel” does not divert.

So the day drags on.

I Sit And Wait

I spend a lot of time saying that when I retire I am going to disappear into the woods. Not just to hike, but hoping to live out of the main stream of society. To get away from civilization and the filth that it has produced and yet it still demands its place at the table. Away from the talking bobble heads who have found that if they weren’t able read off of a teleprompter would most likely be selling the Squatty Potty at 2 am on some desolate cable network to bleary eyed souls wishing they could disappear as well. (Don’t ask how I know about that)

But here I sit, waiting. Waiting for the day when I can walk out the door for the last time. Walk out the door so this part of my life becomes a memory, one that melts as quickly as the sun sets.

Every day now I read and watch the news and the longing to disconnect from the nightmare of shit that rules the world becomes that much more overwhelming. Here are a couple of gems from the recent news:

“Boy, 16 gives brutal details in killing of pregnant high school cheerleader”

Why did he kill her? Because she hid the pregnancy past the point where she could get an abortion. So how did he solve his problem? He stabbed her in the heart and then left her body in a dumpster. Classic.

“Mom,  37, who allegedly drowned 10 month twins could face penalty”

I’m not even going to get into this one. I sense that a special place in hell exists not only for the one above, but more so for this one.

So I sit and wait. And for now, as I continue to recover, the absence of my long and almost daily hikes is becoming a mental burden. Despite the fact that the cold and often angry weather of the winter months would still keep me sane as I made my way from trail to trail and peak to peak, allowing all of the shit churning in my head to be flushed into a vast wasteland, all I can do is hope for better hiking days.

I need to be listening to the wind as it make its way through the naked trees because it has a way of enveloping me, its unique song guiding me to and through my favorite hiking spots.

People say to me, “You are wishing your life away.” No. Not wishing it away, but instead wishing, hoping and waiting for greener pastures, to find a place where although stupidity may still be present, it won’t rule the day. And yes, I am positive that the grass is greener on the other side of this fence.

So I sit and wait.



The Sawyer Squeeze-Part 2


Paranoidunreasonably or obsessively anxious, suspicious, or mistrustful. 

These are the very words that describe my current condition as it relates to hiking. Why should I be paranoid? What do I have to be anxious about when I am in my comfort zone? According to the definition, is there truly a need to be suspicious or mistrustful of the one activity that brings me to my absolute happy place.

Earlier in the year and prior to my fall, I wrote a review on the water treatment system that I would bring with me on my backpacking trip to ensure that the water I collected would be safe to drink. Overall, it worked well and the water that was filtered was delicious.

Just in terms of a little background, prior to the end of June and on day hikes, I would carry two 48 ounce Nalgene water bottles. For most day hikes this would be a sufficient amount of water for most hikes. Longer hikes and days that are more hot and humid of course require more water. Unfortunately, in the past, there have been situations where I have run out of water.

At this point, however, I have decided that I am going to carry the Sawyer Squeeze with me even on day hikes.

This raises many questions. The biggest one being the availability of water while I am hiking. Obviously some times of the year have more water flowing in streams or in ponds than others. Most of the areas that I hike in and around have lakes, which makes the situation that much more easy.

Beyond that, I think that carrying the Sawyer Squeeze will bring me a peace of mind that I think I need as I work on getting permanently back on the trail.

Am I crazy? I don’t think so. I think that I have earned the right to be just a little paranoid.